Tony An from H.O.T. recalled a difficult time in the past due to depression and interpersonal avoidance.
On the 13th, the YouTube channel 'New CBS' will be "Forget the Tonyan you've been doing! The story of Christian Ahn Seung-ho, not H.O.T. Tony," the video was posted.
On this day, Tonyan told an anecdote about his debut as H.O.T. and his later transformation into a businessman.
Tonyan was lacking self-esteem throughout his entire group life. I thought, 'I'm a person who lacks ability, but I met such great members and good agencies and succeeded.' So I thought a lot about 'Isn't he not talented?'
Tonyan, who was afraid to stand alone after the dissolution, suffered from inferiority and compulsion to live after hearing the story of "'H.O.T. was red". But I'm kind of good at talking. So I thought, "I'm going to show you what I can do well."'I started my business with the thought that's why I started my business.
At that time, Tonyan started a school uniform and entertainment business, and the business has since succeeded greatly. Tonyan made "It was beyond imagination, everything was perfect. `I thought, 'I'm going to be recognized now, but that's when my life began to fall.'
Tonyan "I think I was lonely. I can't tell you that it's hard. 'I can't be hard, and I have to carry all this on my own and overcome it on my ownthought ' That's why people around me are moving away. "Even if I meet close friends, I think I'm a person who's on a roll. Even if I had a drink, my friends talked about difficult things, but I couldn't. After that, he didn't go out at some point. "
Tonyan, who later fenced himself and led a self-isolated life, said, `At some point, I had a headache. It was so painful. I took eight headache pills a day. "But the headache didn't go away. At that time, someone said 'I think it would be better to go to the psychiatric department', so I went to the psychiatric department for the first time.
At that time, the test showed eight psychiatric symptoms. Tonyan was given so many medications, including depression, bipolar disorder, and aphrodisiac, that the headache disappeared after taking the medication"But people have become so helpless," he said, revealing the side effects.
He `didn't want to do anything. Money was troublesome, eating was troublesome, and life was just troublesome. I worked, but when I spend time idly, I can't think of a good idea. I kept having bad thoughts. I thought, 'What does this life mean?'"It shocked me by saying.
In the meantime, an accident occurred while drinking and taking medicine together. Tony An "Congratulations on the bedside. The bed was full of blood. There was no memory at all. I looked in the mirror and there was no hair. When I cut my hair with scissors, I accidentally cut my ear and bled"At that time, the management office contacted me. I heard he hit the elevator mirror with his head..." and shocked me again.
Nevertheless, Tony An, who said he couldn't overcome it, said, `One day, a fan gave me a book as a gift. It was missionary Lee Yongkyu's 'Putting Down '"I wanted to read the book strangely, and I finished it in half a day. It was like my story. Suddenly, the depression disappeared and there was hope."
Later, Tonyan said he couldn't overcome it if he didn't put it down, so he decided to join the army, applied for military service the next day, and joined the army a few days later.
